I am regularly asked if we can take erotic photos but keep a client's face unrecognizable in their photos. There are now many places on the internet where people might want to post sexy photos without exposing their true identity… here are some top tips on how to achieve the desired results…
Erotica and bondage is now “mainstream” after the roaring success of erotic novel "Fifty Shades of Grey", by author EL James, which tell a tale with chapters of kinky sex, lust and plenty of spanking.
Not only is the book's success prompting women to buy, read and share the saucy scenes through forums, social networking and word of mouth - it's also rumoured to have boosted sales of DIY goods (soft ropes in particular) as Fifty Shades fans flock to re-enact the bondage-filled plot.
Are you thinking of doing a Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and introducing handcuffs, whips and blindfolds into the bedroom?
"Bondage covers a very wide spectrum and can mean something different to every person," it isn't all whips, dungeons and medieval torture."
Images too do not have to be sexually explicit in order to produce a reaction or emotion; something as simple as the Getty Image below can give the viewer a little heart flutter, especially if it is of someone they love…
Go on, spice up your love life – you know you want to!!
Blog by the Attraction Doctor, Dr. Jeremy Nicholson
Let's be honest... Most everyone has some type of secret fantasy, fetish, or kinky desire. They have something in the back of their mind (or tucked in the back of a closet) that they are just dying to share with the right partner. But, bringing up the topic with a date or mate can be difficult.
Like most things on this blog, we can find the solution in persuasion and influence! So, break out your karma sutra, BDSM gear, or that little nurse’s outfit, and read on. Below are 5 steps to introducing your partner to what really turns you on.
How to Get Kinky
1) Realize that Fantasies and Kinks are Normal
Before you discuss your desires with anyone else, you first must be comfortable with them yourself. You may well be your partner's first introduction into the topic. As a result, you will be leading them. If you are comfortable, they will be comfortable. Besides, despite the often sexually-repressive culture, everyone has something a bit "kinky". So, embrace your inner desires.
Getting comfortable with your desired fetish or fantasy, serves two persuasive purposes. First, you end up modelling the type of positive behaviour you hope your partner follows. Second, you "normalize" the behaviour and request, making it easier for your partner to accept as part of their worldview. When they see you discussing it comfortably, they come to feel that it is a normal and comfortable topic to discuss (and later take part in). So, to be persuasive, get comfortable with your fantasy and accept it...then share it.
2) Communicate that Your Desires are intimate and special
There is an unfortunate misconception that fantasies, fetishes, and kink necessarily "objectify" and "distance" lovers from one another. Usually, just the opposite is true. Sharing your secret sexual cravings with a special partner can increase trust and intimacy. It is a special, private piece of who you are that you are giving to someone else.
As a result, be sure to communicate that you want to share your fantasies or fetishes as "something intimate and special, with a special person". Highlight the fact that your partner is unique, special, and you desire to share the behaviour as an intimate experience with them. This operates on the influence principle of "scarcity" - where individuals value more what is special, rare, or unique. So, when you make the request intimate and special, you also make it scarce...and irresistible.
3) Demonstrate that others are enjoying It
Pretty much anything you are into has some coverage in movies, magazines, videos, etc. For some reason Netflix movies seem to be a goldmine for fantasy, fetish, and kink. In any case, lightly expose your partner to a bit of that "culture". Casually comment about an article you read. Select a movie that features that type of fetish. Show them a video online that a "buddy" happened to send you. Begin to expose them to positive representations of the activities you like.
Yes, this does follow another influence principle - the principle of social proof. Individuals often choose to do what they see other people doing (especially when those people enjoy it). So, showing or discussing positive examples of "other people doing" what you desire will make your partner more interested and agreeable to it.
4) Appeal to Your Partner's Self-Image
We all have different "sides" or "selves". The "self" that we have at work is different than the "self" we have with friends. Our "sexual self" is no different...and it changes over time.
To ensure your partner's comfort and agreement with a topic, make sure to align it with aspects of their sexual self. If they believe they are "adventurous" in bed, then praise their adventurousness and suggest your kink as an adventure. If they believe they are "intimate" in bed, then tell them you love their intimacy and suggest a fantasy as a further way of getting intimate.
The appeal requires that you first get them to "commit" to a certain self-image, where they say the type of person they are. You may do this in the form of a leading question (e.g. "are you adventurous?"). Next, you affirm that self-image with an attribution of your own (e.g. "that's what I love about you, you're so adventurous"). Finally, you present your desire in a way consistent with that self-image (e.g. "let's try something adventurous together").
This process works on the self-dynamics of your partner. It helps them "see themselves as the kind of person" who would engage in a fantasy, fetish, or kink. It also employs the influence principles of commitment/consistency and attribution. Individuals are motivated to remain consistent to a self-image they project (consistency) or an image that others have of them (attribution). Therefore, when their image is in agreement with a behaviour...they do it.
5) Start Small and Work Up
When you introduce your partner to a fantasy or fetish, start SMALL. Don't bring out the latex suit and full body harness, or the entire clown outfit, on the first night. Ease them into it. Just the small toy. Just the handcuffs. Then work your way up!
Starting small allows your partner time to ease in, adjust and get comfortable. It also makes a "yes" to larger requests later more likely. The principle is called the foot-in-the-door effect - where individuals who say yes to small requests initially are more likely to say yes to big requests later. So, be patient. Let your partner ease in, then introduce something more, until you get to the whole fantasy.
Sharing your fetish or fantasy with a partner can be a positive (and persuasive) experience. You don't have to keep quiet. Just get comfortable with what you want, to ask calmly and confidently. Make your partner feel special and unique to share your desires. Show them positive examples of others enjoying what you like. Align the request with their self-image. Finally, start small and work your way up. Follow those steps...and you both will reach kinky bliss in no time.
Go to www.AttractionDoctor.com for more dating and relationship advice (in helpful categories)!
Lady G came in to the studio earlier this year to have a Boudoir Shoot as a surprise for Hubby's Birthday; this shoot will stick forever in my mind as after we finished and Lady G was looking through the images she exclaimed "OMG I think I've just fallen in love with my self a little bit..."
When you can see someone change from nervous and self conscious to confident and proud in front of your eyes that right there is special and a huge compliment that I was part of that change.
I have been waiting until May before revealing this special shoot, however Lady G contacted me earlier this week and told me she couldn't keep it to herself any longer and presented Hubby with a hand-made scrap book with the photos. She told me that she cant say what he said or the result of receiving this gift, but I think I can guess they had a great evening!
Lady G still says that she's still a little bit in love with herself after her Boudoir Experience with us at Bare Pictures...
Thank you Lady G, I will forever remember your time with us in the studio xx
I have had the pleasure of being asked on many occasions to shoot Artistic Nude Photographs both for Models and Clients alike… In all my years behind the lens I have heard many reasoning’s and considerations that have gone into the decisions before making this bold step.
I have listed some suggestions and considerations you should decide prior to shooting nude (Specifically, nudes with the aim of publishing the images “MODELS”), because a) it could save you a lot of grief down the road and b) out of respect for the photographer and their time and efforts.
1) What is my goal (motivation) and is this shoot appropriate with these goals?
An important question, and one many models, clients and photographers don’t seem to ask themselves early on... why do you want to shoot nudes? Is this for you or to please someone else? do you want to model for extra money? Do you want to become famous? Do you want to start a career?
CLIENTS – Are you planning on giving these images as gifts to a partner/spouse? Do you want to display these images in the home or on-line? Are you happy with people seeing these images of yourself? Friends, Family and Perspective Employers may see these images.
MODELS - If you are you looking to be an agency-signed model or a spokesperson for a big company, nudes in your portfolio, or on the internet in general, could be a problem for these guys.
Are you considering this for fun? to become comfortable with your own body? to capture your youthful beauty?
PLEASE do your research, before committing yourself. Find a Photographer that you feel comfortable with, that will help you create the images that are the most flattering and suitable to your requirements. Ask for examples of their work, references or just have a chat over the phone/Skype and build a rapport with them before the shoot.
2) What is my comfort level?
Seems a pretty obvious thing to consider!
Yet, it is not always considered prior to shooting; being a “fan” of nude art does not mean you will be comfortable with your own nude pictures or with being nude on a set. If you are not comfortable, it will come across both in how you pose and in your expressions, and will be obvious in the photographs.
Can you comfortably stand in front of the mirror nude, practice poses, and like what you see? If no, are you likely to be comfortable in the nuddie, in front of a photographer and perhaps others (e.g., make-up artist, assistant), taking images that may be seen by a million people?
Plan accordingly. If you are possibly going to be very nervous, anonymous shots, implied shots, and so forth may be a better way to start. “Chickening out” at the last minute and flaking, cancelling, or suggesting a change to a lingerie shoot is not respectful to the photographer and rest of the team. Don’t get me wrong – certainly you should not follow through with any shoot where you are made to feel uncomfortable, for example, because of a photographer’s behavior. However, becoming suddenly too shy at the last minute because you didn’t research your photographer didn’t practice poses, or it didn’t really sink in that you would have to be undressed in front of others, are not good reasons to break plans or an agreement.
3) How will my friends/family react if they see my images (and how much do I care)?
Regardless of how open minded you are, the reality is that you may have to deal with family, friends, or co-workers who do not approve of nudity – particularly yours. Even taking steps to stay anonymous, there is always a chance that your family, friends, and co-workers will see your images. Facial recognition software seems to be an increasingly big part of image indexing programs, so even using a “model” name may not keep your images from being tied to you now or in the future. Furthermore, it may only take one “friend” to find your images online and circulate them around your whole social network. Are you prepared to handle their reactions?
4) Who is the photographer?
Obviously, you will want a photographer who is likely to take shots of you that you will be proud of. The obvious place to start your research is the photographer’s portfolio – so take a look at it! Keep in mind; these are the photographer’s best shots. Can you see yourself being happy with shots like these?
I would not recommend selecting the photographer solely based on his/her portfolio. You also want to consider the following:
2. You can always let your friends and whomever you want to know what your model name is and let them see your shots. You can post any of your shots on your personal websites if you want your personal network to see them. In this way, you don’t really lose out on the possibility of people seeing your shots – but you can control who sees what a little better.
3. Many photographers may publish images of you before you approve them. Indeed, depending on the contract you use (or don’t use) they may not care if you approve of them or not, nor have any obligation to run them by you first. It is reassuring to know ones you might not like are not going to end up on your personal facebook page for all your friends and family to see.
4. Even if you are really proud of the shots and don’t mind everyone seeing any/all of them, you may not want your real name associated with them because you may want to have different things come up in web searches when people Google you. For example, if you were to start up a new business you might rather your business sites come up first when people Google your name – not your photo shoots.
5. Related to this, you are effectively “branding” your name (model name or real name) when you promote yourself as a model. You can’t really brand it two ways at the same time very effectively (e.g., as the most awesome model around, and as the best Estate Agent in town).
6. If you are promoting yourself as a model (e.g., to get more work/shoots), you’ll want to come across as professional as possible. Good photographers won’t have time to play hide and seek with your portfolio on a website full of personal stuff, and will probably assume you are not very professional or serious if they can’t find it right away. A “fan page” may help keep your modeling work separate from your personal stuff, but a unique model name makes it even easier. Use one name only for your modeling (websites, communications, etc) to market yourself most effectively. Set up a separate email with your model name and tie it to the websites and fan pages. This keeps things very clear for the fans and photographers and helps brand you better for SEO (search-engine optimization). It also keeps you better organized, especially if you start getting really popular, to not have people emailing you to multiple email accounts and/or under different names or to different profile pages.
7. Future employers. Some employers will object to nude photos. If you are using a model name for your photos, your employer may be less concerned about them (same reason as #4 above). As an employee, your name could be associated with the company, and the company may not be comfortable with the nude images that come along with your name.
8. Further, many companies admit to Googling their applicants before hiring them. If they don’t like your pictures, they can find some reason not to hire you and you would never know your nude photos were the real reason you didn’t get the job.
9. Maybe you’ve worked hard in the gym, your pictures are beautiful, and you deserve to get the credit, and it’s rubbish to feel like you have to “hide” them with a model name. True… However, you will identify with your model name
On the bright side, respect and good communication solves 99% of problems you might experience on set and leads to really positive, enjoyable experiences.
In summary, my strong recommendations for your first nude shoot:
I have spent the last few years in business shooting Boudoir Portraits for many, many clients…In all these years behind the camera I have seen many ladies (and men to be fair…) come through my doors nervous wrecks, and I understand that taking such a huge step to be semi dressed in front of the camera is not one they have decided on lightly.
I recently asked this question on one of our social media pages… “So I've noticed an awful lot recently that when meeting people for the first time and telling them what I do for a living 9 times out of 10 the response is "oh, I'm not very photogenic" is this an actual belief, a quest for compliments or is it just simply something to say? Would be interested in hearing your thoughts... and go!
One of the most common comments was that they did not feel comfortable in front of the camera because they we’re afraid of being judged by the Photographer for their size, stretch marks and other bodily insecurities…
As a larger lady myself I understand completely how this can affect your confidence and desire to be photographed in normal situations let alone half naked! However as a larger lady I also feel that I am able to bring a little extra understanding when it comes to adopting the most flattering poses and props that can be used to create stunning and beautiful images that you will love!
After a recent shoot, I sat with one client to have a quick peek at the images on the back of the camera and she commented “I think I’ve just fallen in love with myself a little bit…”
I would recommend that if it is something you are thinking of doing for your other half (who by the way loves you for who you are), research your local photographers, find one who’s work you love then ask to speak to them either in person or via Skype… if you feel comfortable speaking with them then make arrangements to book, if not then try someone else J
A couple’s Boudoir Portrait Shoot can be a fantastic experience as well as the chance to have some fun together creating some stunning images as a truly personal keepsake.
Your pictures can be classic artistic nude portraits, sensual boudoir portraits or if you are feeling a little more daring, you can go for some steamy erotic images – to be honest most couples end up having a mixture of all three!
Whatever style you choose, we will create images that you will love… guaranteed.
Pick a special date for example Valentine’s Day <3 and play a little… try to time your orgasms so they both strike right at midnight, you might not manage it but the good news is… you can try again next year!
Close your eyes and describe what you are about to do to each other before doing it. Imagine what it will feel like as he talks, and wait for your body to explode when he finally touches you.
Challenge him to a game of basketball or football when things get dull. Make sure it’s a full body contact sport and whoever wins gets whatever he or she wants!